Dial-up of death

For a long time now, I and many other people all around the world have been suffering from the evil and horrifying "Dial-up of death" syndrome. This is particularly hard for somewhat of a "technology interested freak" as myself. People RELY on me for new info and tips in the world of computers! (thats what I tell myself).... that and the fact that I don't like the slowness factor.. even if people never asked me anything again.. or just kept giving me out dated computers to fix.. I still would have a dastardly hard time. The reason I don't post on this blog as much as I should is the fault of DIAL-UP!!! I have put my pain into a short poem.

Good times with friends all end it's true
Dial-up wants it all to be through.
The sunrise goes away, but why?
'Cause dial-up hates the pretty sky.

the things that make us free and glad
and cheery and happy and joyously mad
Have all been shunned by dial-up
Your face has been shunned by dial-up.

Got a web page to look up lighting fast?
Dial-up wants the speed thing last.
And if your in the "I think I can live with dial-up.. it's not that bad" sect
Just wait till you see the message "reconnect?"

I know that rhythm was kinda lame,
But dial-up put me behind my game.
If dial-up was gone, gas prices would be right,
no one would be hungry and mosquitos wouldn't bite.

no one would be in a dark prison cell,
And you wouldn't need that nasty hair jell.
The days will be grand when dial-up is dead
And everyone's using high speed internet instead.

If any of you can come up with a short poem about the terror of dial-up, email it to me and I will post it.

How could the dial-up crises be fixed? We need to bring ideas to Washington so they can act NOW! Its so simple! I have a small list of ideas.

-Super laser powered Z-Rays of highspeedness beamed down to every home in the UNIVERSE!!!

-Toilet Internet.

-HSIzone layer. Similar to the ozone layer, only placed directly below the ozone layer, it reflects and multiplies all wifi signals.. EVER! even from back in time or in the future! (not affected by burping cows or SUV's)

-inferpink high speed internet links. Just point your computer at the moon... and instant connection. (on cloudy days or when the moon is not visible.... your cooked)

-Universal Teleportation Hub. Reach your hand through one end of the portal, and plug into an internet connected hub. Plug the other end into your own wifi equipped hub or computer.

If you have anymore brilliant ideas, make sure you tell me about them.



On a side note, Google Chrome has just been added to the list of web browsers. So far, its not available for mac or Linux yet, but it'll get there.

You can check out the official google blog article about it here.
It looks pretty snazzy.. if you ask me. Its supposed to be fast too..