Death by Chain-mail...

Well, if they can do it, so can I! If you don't read this post in its entirety, the rest of your life will...um...be....miserable. You will never find your soul mate, and your Australian kangaroo mouse will die of chicken pox. You will also never taste a good pizza ever again.
Don't you just love imposed spam death threats? You find them on people's walls, and in comments. A touching story followed by an ultimatum. Spam at least 10 people or you will die next month. Either that or you will totally blow your chances of ever winning the lottery. Or, your girlfriend will dump you. I get these all the time. Worst of all, from people who I thought were my friends...
I occasionally read one of these chain messages (AKA spam) out of boredom usually. I get to the end, and its like...Whoa! Was that a threat? *wields sharpy* You want to take this out to the parking lot?
Do people actually take these things seriously? If you honestly believe that by not forwarding the message to ten people, some poor little girl's cat will be hit by an 18 wheeler, I seriously feel sorry for you. No wait...I don't. I laugh at you. HAHAHA. You totally deserve any lack of sleep you may bring upon yourself by not forwarding the message.
Do you know how many of these I delete every day?!? By all rights I should at least be single, jobless, and living with my parents...oh wait......I am...well, what I am trying to say is, don't spam people. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
By the way, if you don't email this post to at least 10 people, you will bald pre-maturely, get head lice and dandruff, and your pet iguana will move to Albuquerque where the air smells like warm root beer and all the towels are oh so fluffy...
~Jim